


P.I.E Prank War

by Johnny__Ghost



Category: VenturianTale Characters (Web Series)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Other, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnny__Ghost/pseuds/Johnny__Ghost
Summary: Spooker and Colon accidentally start a prank war, after they get Ghost, and he takes it as a challenge. Toast tries, and fails, avoiding the chaos, while trying to keep them from killing eachother. (Loosely inspired by the Sanders Sides Prank War Audiodrama, I mostly just got the idea from it, and maybe a few prank ideas.)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue-The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xephina_The_Eleven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xephina_The_Eleven/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sanders Sides Prank War](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/719977) by Xephina_The_Eleven. 



Ghost sighed heavily as he approached HQ. It was early morning, still dark, and technically he wasn’t supposed to be there until hours later, but it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. Toast had been gone for a few days, apparently on a trip to visit family, and as a result wasn’t there to discourage him from leaving so early anyways. Plus he’d thought that he’d arrive a bit closer to daylight anyway, as without another way of transportation, he’d been forced to walk, but apparently the anxiety that had been building in him was a great motivator to move faster. Go figure.

As he was approaching the building, he threw away the mostly intact cereal bar he’d grabbed before leaving, and pushed the door open without a second thought. Instantly he felt something ice cold sink into his bones, and it took his still groggy mind far too long to realize he’d been doused with freezing water. A bucket landing next to his feet, and a few chocked giggles sounded to his left, gave away the reasoning.  
He whirled toward the sound, and fixed his gaze steadily on Spooker and Colon, who suddenly stopped giggling, and starred at him with wide eyes. The one in a purple (because it’s definitely NOT pink, no matter what he said) beanie spoke up first. “W- Were sorry! We thought Toast would be the one to come in first! A- and even if it was you, we didn’t think you’d get angry!! We- we-“ He stuttered to a stop, and the other finished for him, if a bit more calmly.  
“We just thought it would be funny. Please don’t try to murder us.” Ghost deliberately processed the words slowly, pulling his now dripping hood down from his relatively dry hair, and wiping the water from his face with a sleeve. He spoke with a barely concealed growl, and chose his words carefully.

“...Why. On earth. Did you ever think that I wouldn’t be mad?” The effects of the words were apparently unchanged, even as the anger shrunk to tired annoyance, as the targets of his current death glare shrunk away like dying leaves. 

“U-uhm..b..because-“

Colon interrupted Spooker before he could finish. “Just take a look at your calendar.”  
He replied, words a bit shaky even though he could articulate them much better then his lightly shivering counterpart. Confused, Ghost carefully pulled his now slick phone, tried his best to dry off the screen, and looked at the date. 6:39 AM, Tuesday, April 1st.  
He starred at the screen, simultaneously shocked at how March had ended so quickly, and confused as to how the hell he’d managed to miss that particular detail. After all, besides Halloween, obviously, this used to be his favorite time of year, and he distinctly remembered when he was younger planning weeks in advance so his pranks would be, “devilishly perfect” as his mom always put it. Now, though, not only had he failed to realize the day, he had also missed the very obvious prank that had been attempted on him before, and had failed every time. And Spooker and Colon, some of the most weird, non strategic, and frankly ignorant people he knew, had been the ones to set it up. For a second, he was appalled, then the simplest spark of an idea fired in his brain. 

And then he was grinning.


	2. Chapter One-Anticipation

For the entire day Spooker and Colon were waiting for consequences. For the entire day, when he wasn’t dealing with the few clients, Ghost just sat quietly at the front desk, and smiled eerily to himself. Said smile quickly widening to a full blown grin every time either of them made eye contact. Now, it was midday, and all they had noticed was him occasionally writing something down in a notebook, or forcefully stifling a giggle.  
It was all very eerie, and especially so because neither of them had ever seen him express any similar behavior before. It didn’t help that it was such a slow day, they didn’t have much in the way of distraction. Mostly, they would sit a little ways off whispering and glancing at him, trying to figure out if something was actually wrong, or if he’d just finally snapped.  
“Here,look! It says that after someone experiences high-amounts-of stress that they can break down, and act really happy and weird.” Spooker half whispered to his friend, stretching out a few syllables that were difficult for him to read out loud. Colon leaned over the phone, tilting his head slightly, and then looked into his eyes.  
“..maybe.” He said reluctantly. “But I think he might just be trying to scare us, or something like that.”  
Spooker didn’t like seeing the doubt in his eyes, but he knew he had a point, even if his idea was a possibility.  
He sighed “I guess, but why would he still be doing it after it started working?” He asked, hoping for a good answer, but all he got was a shrug.

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s just really happy about something he didn’t tell us?”   
That was true, he kept a lot of secrets, which Toast had many times told them they shouldn’t worry about.  
The ghost hunting trainee glanced at the subject of their conversation, still smiling eerily, and watching them.

“Then why does he have to be so dang creepy about it??” He asked, something akin to a growl, but seeming more like an angry puppy snarling, even to him, edging his voice.

Colon reeled back in mock surprise, and let out an exaggerated gasp. “Was that anger I heard?? I thought that was impossible!”

Spooker punched him lightly in the arm, grinning. “Shut up”.

Colon smiled. “Okay, okay, yeah, he is acting pretty weird, but are we really sure he’s not just messing with us?” He asked, and Spooker glanced away.  
“..maybe we could ask Toast? He knows him a lot better, but how? Ghost said he wasn’t here.” As he pondered the question, Colon gave him a look. The same look he always gave him when he was missing something obvious.  
“What?” He asked, and his friend smiled a little, turning the screen of his phone towards him, finger hovering over Toasts name in the contacts list.  
“...Oh, right.” He mumbled, feeling a little silly as Colon typed a message into the text box, and hit send, showing Spooker the message afterward.

‘Hi Toast! Me and Spooker just wanted to know if-‘

Spooker, however, stopped reading the paragraph after a few long winded sentences, getting the idea. Colon never seemed to know when to stop talking, and while it wasn’t as noticeable when he was speaking, it became much more so when he texted anyone. More than once, Spooker had almost gotten a headache trying to read through what seemed like an essay, when the entire point of the text could be summed up in three words. Soon, Toast replied with a much more manageable message.

‘I wouldn’t worry about it.’

Spooker blinked, and took the phone out of Colons hands to type a reply of his own.

‘Why not?’

It took about a minute before he got the reply, most likely due to the fact that the sender of said reply was across the ocean.

‘Because I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything.’

Ghost watched the pair as they whispered loudly to each other, and hovered over the phone. They were across the room, but it still wouldn’t be hard for him to hear what they were saying, even without their ineffectively loud whispering. He felt himself smiling wider, and found he was unable to hide the expression. It was a strange feeling. Not an unpleasant one, but...strange. Unfamiliar.  
Finally looking away, he glanced at his own phone, checking the time, as well as wondering when Toast was going to text him, as he would surely do once he was done talking to Colon and Spooker, asking him what he was undoubtedly planning.  
The Ghost Hunter knew he had to go easy on them at first, especially considering that they hadn’t done anything spectacular with theirs, it was probably just something one of them thought of on the spot, plus he didn’t think any of what he considered more....intense pranks were something they could really handle.  
His phone buzzed in his hand, and he jumped slightly, before realizing Toast had texted him. He smirked. Right on cue. He tapped the message. 

‘What did you do?’

It read, Ghost smirk widened.

‘Nothing’

Ghost replied, spinning a few times in his chair, and stopping just before he got dizzy. His Ghost Hunting partner replied as quick as he could across the ocean.

‘Bullshit’

Ghost’s smirk winded into a small grin.

‘You should be asking them what they did.’ 

Toast took a while longer to message back, and he heard a soft ding from across the room, followed by a whispered argument.

’So, What are you planning?’

’Nothing.’

They went back and forth like this for a while, Toast trying to convince him not to retaliate, apparently assuming he’d do something crazy, and Ghost, with nothing better to do, leading the conversation around in circles. After he’d managed to break the subject away from pranks, he led it from one thing to another, from one random thing to another. Comic books, to Horror movies, Horror games, to actual Ghost Hunts. It was a trick he’d picked up quite a while ago, and perfected pretty easily. His current victim had been subjected to it fairly often, though, and eventually he figured it out, and ended the conversation. Ghost checked the time, and suppressed another smirk. That was a record, he was getting better.


	3. Chapter Two-Planning

Planning this wasn’t as easy as Ghost had initially thought. It wasn’t hard, per say, but while the ideas he had rattling in his skull, and partially written into an old notepad were good for the late game, he knew he needed something smaller, less noticeable. Not because he was afraid they’d notice too early, he doubted that either of them would notice if he strung up some dead bodies on the ceiling fan, and turned it on. No, it was for a much different reason then that. For one, it would be silly to just start off with something so elaborate. Nothing else he did would really phase them quite as much as the first impact, and he wanted to have a decent pay off if he was going to put in so much work. It would also be dumb from a strategic standpoint. He wanted to lull them into a false sense of security, before he really went all out; it’d be more fun that way. Now, the only question was how to start.   
The Ghost Hunter sighed inwardly as he realized he was right back where he was before, and looked up from the laptop infront of him, to the window on his left, and then back to his laptop screen, checking the time, as he realized with a jolt that it was pitch black outside. It was well past midnight. He’d been there for hours, and hadn’t made any progress, as well as barely noticing the passage of time. Why did his internal clock have to suck?   
Sighing once again, he leaned back, his head on the couch’s backrest, and starred at the dark ceiling.  
He had already begrudgingly accepted the fact that he needed a break, and even though sleeping was his best option, he doubted he’d be able to do that any easier then he had the entirety of the week prior, and he wasn’t up to trying.  
Sitting up slowly, he closed the all too tempting laptop, and scanned the dimly lit living room. It wasn’t very inspiring. It was appropriately eery in the low light, but it was still a plain room, with nothing but a couch, coffee table, and bare wall where there really ought to be a TV. The only interesting thing about it was the front door, staircase, and partially open kitchen to his right, all entrances to other places, most of which he really didn’t feel like venturing.   
Maybe he just needed to walk around a bit? He stood, and did an awkward lap of the room, unsure of exactly where he wanted to go. After realizing that it wasn’t doing anything for him, he eyed the front door, had a silent debate with himself about his chances of survival should a crazy serial killer run at him with a chainsaw, decided that his experience with the handgun in his hoodie pocket, if he wasn’t fast enough to run, would probably be enough to save him, and walked towards it, his hand running along the wall.   
Placing his hand on the cold metal of the doorknob, that he was able to feel even through his fingerless glove, he turned it, got a slight shock as the cool air hit his face, and cautiously stepped outside. It wasn’t quite as dark as it was inside, even with the clouds covering the moon, and he had to admit that the fresh air was a relief, but he couldn’t help but feel as if thousands of eyes were watching him through every crack. He found that his hand was gripping the handle of the gun inside his pocket very tightly, and he glanced over his shoulder constantly. He was beginning to think that it was a bad idea, that he should go back, but finally he left the more cramped areas of the city, that ironically made him feel more claustrophobic then the multiple occasions when he’d locked himself in his closet to get away from Toast and his overbearingness, even though the actual space was much larger. After a few minutes, he’d mostly calmed down, and found that the further he got from the too close, too tall, buildings that threatened to crush, and or suffocate him, the more relaxed he became. He tried once again to focus on his self assigned homework, but after his thoughts began leading him in wildly different directions, he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere, and decided to just let his mind wander. He’d have plenty of time to come up with something, it didn’t exactly have to be in the morning. 

Watching his surroundings, he noticed he was heading towards the woods at the edge of the city, the dark trees silhouetted against the dark grey clouds filling the sky, making Ghost wonder, not for the first time, if it was going to rain before he got back.  
He smirked inwardly.   
That would be his second soaking today.

Reaching the edge of the woods, he decided to not go deeper and get himself lost. Instead eyeing the nearest tree, before climbing into it, and stopping towards the middle, forcefully ignoring the mildly paranoid thought that this was the worst place to be if it really did start to rain, focusing instead on the sky above him.   
He was still a bit disbelieving of the fact that the Beanie Bros had gotten him with such an obvious trick, but he knew for a fact that they wouldn’t be doing it again, atleast not anytime soon. They’d have to try a lot harder then that next time. Curious, he tried to imagine himself in their situation, wondering what they would do, and slowly realized the fatal flaw in his logic. If it was him, as in him reacting as himself to their situation, he would definitely see the retaliation prank as a challenge, and try to come up with another one, but would they react the same way? He frowned, debating with himself, until he checked the time, realized it was five in the morning, and quickly headed back into the city. Maybe he’d think of a way to solve atleast one of the few silly problems plaguing him on the way.


	4. Chapter Three-The Beginning For Real This Time

Ghost sat down in the same office chair he’d occupied most of the day prior, and fixed his gaze on the affectionately named ‘Break Table’, admiring his work with a half suppressed smirk. It was a simple prank, definitely more clever then the one he’d been fooled by the previous morning, but not so much so that it would take long for his victims to notice. He’d stopped by a convenience store on the way there, hoping to get something small to snack on throughout the day, if only to be spared from another of Toast’s lectures. He’d been just about to leave, when something had caught the corner of his eye. The candy section next to the singular check out counter, and he decided it was worth it to interact with the overly loud, polite, cashier another time to execute this new idea.

Now, he sat starring down a bowl filled to the brim with M&ms and Skittles mixed together.

A short laugh, and two pairs of differing footstep patterns alerted him of Spooker and Colon’s approach a second before the door opened, and Ghost locked his eyes on the both of them, barely holding back a grin as Spooker immediately spotted the brightly colored poison.  
“Candy!” Gasped the overly exited Ghost Hunting Trainee, who raced over to the table and immediately shoved his hand inside. 

Colon came up beside him more slowly, and reached for his own handful.

”Cool.” He said, popping a few into his mouth just as Spooker, who had shoved as many of the treats as he could into his mouth, stiffened. 

After a long moment, they both spit the gooey mess into their hands, gagging, as Ghost’s half smirk turned into a full grin.

”What the heck!?” Spooker exclaimed, dropping the sticky mass into the nearest trash can, and visibly cringing as he wiped his hand off on his clothes.

Colon shrugged, studying his palm for a second, before copying Spooker and disposing of the candy as if it were toxic waste. “I think it’s M&ms and Skittles at the same time.” He stated, turning back towards his shocked friend.

A look of pure horror spread across Spooker’s face. “Why?? Who would do that!?” He asked, and Ghost couldn’t stop the snickering laugh that bubbled up from his chest. 

The two of them spun in unison, and starred at him with bewilderment. 

“Hiya.” Ghost waved at them, grinning openly, and resting his chin on his hand.

They starred at him, still confused, and Colon finally managed to force out a single word. “...Why?” He asked quietly, and Ghost grinned wider,

”I had to get back at you two somehow.” He said simply, and he watched as their expressions morphed from confusion, to realization, and then separate levels of amusement and annoyance.

Colon apparently couldn’t help but laugh, while Spooker glared fiercely at him, with a less then intimidating anger. “You disgraced my favorite candy! How could you?” He said, and Ghost shifted, placing his chin on both of his fists, and leaning a little closer to them.

”Simple.” He replied. “I just bought them earlier, and put them in a bowl.” 

Spooker glared harder at him, intentionally narrowing his eyes, trying to look more intimidating, but only reinforcing the effect of a hissing kitten without any claws.

“...Earlier was like four in the morning, do you ever sleep?” Colon asked, unconcerned by his friends frustration. 

“Nope!” Ghost said, grinning wider. “Sleep is for people with time.”

Colon furrowed his brow, seemingly unsure if he was joking or not. Ghost couldn’t blame him, he wasn’t completely sure either. 

Spooker looked between the two of them, crossed his arms, huffed loudly, turned back toward the table, and sat roughly down in a chair, making a show of it, the illusion breaking when he jammed his elbow on the table, and winced.

Ghost grabbed the bowl, and popped a few into his mouth, both too see their disgusted reactions, and to hopefully keep himself awake for the rest of the day.


	5. Chapter Four-Glitter

Ghost climbed down from the ladder, and stood back to admire his work. Ribbons were strung up on the walls and ceiling, braided in intricate patterns, and a banner was hanging lopsidedly in the centre, concealing a couple buckets full of glitter and confetti, attached to a rope. It looked pretty good for what it was, which was nice, because he’d spent the entire night working on it. He’d probably be finding glitter in his clothes for quite a while, but it’d be nothing compared to his victims, if his plan worked out the way he envisioned it. 

He moved the ladder to the nearest closet, which wasn’t where he’d gotten it, but that didn’t matter, and tried his best to get as much of the glitter off of him as possible. They’d be here soon. He’d lied about the time they were supposed to come in so that they wouldn’t arrive while he was still setting up, making something up about a ghost escaping from one of the capsules, and wreaking havoc, and that it was too dangerous for them to help with. Conveniently, that also gave him an excuse to tell them to wear something to protect their faces, making up something about noxious fumes, so that they wouldn’t be hurt. Glitter was fun, until it got in your eyes lungs. 

He wasn’t sure how much of it they bought, this was his fifth prank so far, and it had barely been a week, but it was still more likely they would take caution. He’d been trying to make them get the memo, or atleast anger them enough that they would retaliate, but so far it hadn’t quite worked. Straight up telling them, while much more practical, would be kinda boring, so he was trying to avoid it, but if they kept being stupid about it, he’d do it. So far all he’d managed to do was make them scared to come to work, which was the opposite of what he wanted. Toast had offered to tell them for him after he’d figured out what Ghost was doing, but so far he’d told him not too. He didn’t think they’d quite understand it that way, either. Toast was not good at explaining things, to put it lightly.

After waiting a little while longer, the door opened, and he pulled on the rope. The air was filled with a cloud of biodegradable sparkles. A long moment passed, in blinding confusion, before it began to settle, and their air was cleared.

His victims stood there, bewildered and bedazzled, until they spotted him. Spooker looked him up and down, and giggled. Not quite the reaction he was hoping for. With a quick glance down at himself he realized that he was covered with about as much glitter as they were. 

“You look stupid.”

Ghost shrugged. “You look exactly the same as me.”

Spooker glared, and crosses his arms, sparkles raining off of him with the movement, although it wasn’t hard to see the smile he was trying to hide.

”I’m guessing this is why you wanted us to wear masks?” Colon asked, though he was smiling too.

Ghost dodged infront of them, and hopped the counter, sitting in his now very shimmery chair. “No, not at all.”

”..You know it’s your job to clean it up, right?” Colon said.

Ghost shrugged again.

Colon rolled his eyes, and him and the pouting Spooker crossed the mountain of glitter that was the floor, and sat down.

The day continued on as normal, relatively speaking. They simply ignored the mess, none of them really willing to clean it up, besides, it was pretty funny seeing the reactions of the people who entered the building, or of those they entered the buildings of, when they were called in. The pair still tried, and failed, to figure out why he was doing it, and at this point it was getting silly. It wasn’t something he’d think difficult, but then again, he was the one doing it. Atleast they annoyed him less outside of missions.

They decided to watch him the entire time he cleaned, mocking and teasing him. He probably deserved it, but it did give him the chance to throw a handful at them when they got distracted.


	6. Chapter Five-Retaliation

Ghost walked though the door, checking for buckets this time. He was not getting caught with that again, even if he didn’t think they’d try it, even if they did catch on, but it never hurt to be cautious. Atleast, that’s what he told himself as he stared at the door for five minutes straight, looking, and feeling, incredibly stupid.

Spooker and Colon were already there, not as surprise, as he’d come late, opting to wait out the migraine that had kept him up, and they’d been coming earlier, even if Colon looked ready to pass out at any second. He didn’t bother greeting them, they knew he was here, going straight to his seat behind the counter. There wouldn’t be anyone there for hours, there never was, and he didn’t want to get out his phone, not eager to bring back the headache, so he reached under the desk, looking for his sketchbook. He grabbed at empty air, leaning down to look.

Nothing.

Crap.

He rolled the chair back a bit, looking around. It had to be there somewhere, he hardly ever moved it, unless he was using it. Even then, he didn’t do it often, it was one of two, and stayed here unlike the other, which he kept at home, both to keep from losing it, and so no one would see any of the nightmare monsters he drew in the middle of the night. Badly. Besides that, he had a lot of his prank ideas written in it, and he didn’t want anyone to see those either.

The sketchbook wasn’t there. He’d gotten on the floor, and peered under the bottom of the desk, when he finally accepted it. Sighing, he got back up, careful to not go too fast, and make himself dizzy, and looked around the room. Spooker and Colon were distracted, talking to eachother, Colon finally starting to wake up as he listened to Spooker ramble, and the rest of the room was empty. He dared to turn on his phone, wondering if it was worth it, but after a few seconds, a dull ache began behind his eyes, and he dropped it. Definitely not worth it.

He tried to find something to distract himself, it couldn’t be too long before someone came in, he just had to wait a bit. Not that hard, surely. 

He lasted a minute, before he heard tapping, realized he was clicking his nails on the desk, and forcefully stopped himself. Nervous energy buzzed under his skin, as he put all the focus he could into keeping still. He winced when he unconsciously tried to bite his lip, irritating a hardly scabbed over wound. That was what made him get up. His chair slid back with the force of it, one wheel squeaking, and causing Spooker to look up at him, but he glared at the floor, and sped past before he could be questioned.

He’d goto his office. Look for the sketchbook in there, maybe, or he’d atleast use that as an excuse if one of them asked. He’d gotten up without much of a plan, just needing to move, without deciding where to go. He didn’t use it much; it was across the building, and he didn’t keep anything in there, either, so he had no reason too. He was needed more in the front, ready for the next person to enter, or maybe to tease his friends for being late, if they ever were.

It took a while to get there, though he picked up the pace quite a bit along the way, feeling the halls threaten to close in on him. He managed to calm himself down some once he did get there, though, slamming the door with much more force than he should’ve, before closing his eyes, and counting his breaths. His heart slowed back down to normal, and though the space was small, it didn’t feel tight. He still felt like he needed to move, though, and settled on pacing the edges, making sure he didn’t pick up speed again, and send himself into a panic. He stayed for a while, counting his breaths, pacing, and anything else he could think of to keep calm. It’d be a long time before anyone came in, and even if they did, Spooker and Colon would come looking for him if they needed it. They were fine. He was fine. There was absolutely no reason to freak out.

He was startled out of it by a cough, snapping his head up to see Spooker watching him, with a vaguely concerned expression. He glared, pushed some extra annoyance in his voice to cover up the shaking, and just had to hope he didn’t look as embarrassed as he felt. “What do you want?”

Spooker looked back into the hallway, towards the front room. “Um..there’s someone here. They said their friend has a ghost problem, Colon’s talking to them.” He said.

Ghost nodded. “Okay, I’ll be there in a second.”

Spooker nodded, hesitated a second, and turned to go.

Ghost sighed, running a hand down his face. He checked the time, and realized it’d been atleast an hour since he got there, half that spent pacing like a madman, and apparently freaking out Spooker. Great. He’d shut the phone off quickly, ready to follow Spooker back to the main room, when he saw something in the corner of his eye. He paused in the doorway, and turned toward it. A small book sat on a dusty shelf in the corner, one that he’d somehow missed, even after bumping the edge several times. His sketchbook, open to the first blank page. He came closer, confused, until he saw the message written in it, in blocky letters, surrounded by squiggly doodles.

‘CONGRATULATIONS!! You found it! - Spooker & Colon’

For a moment, he wondered if he should let himself get mad because they stole it, and saw god knows what if they’d looked through it. On the other hand, it meant that they’d finally caught on, and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face when he realized it.

He scribbled his own message on it, ripped out the page, taped it to Spooker’s back, hit him with the sketchbook, and put it back in it’s place, before helping them deal with the very confused person, who still needed help with ghosts. They only found it after they’d gotten back, and Colon read it out loud when he’d pulled it off.

”This is war”

Cheesy? Yes, but it was effective, judging by how his victims kept glancing at him, like he was a wild animal, and would kill them in one blow if they so much as made eye contact.


End file.
